How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
The Olympian is in my bed
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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