what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
