Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
