We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
