If i come over, it means nothing
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
