i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
