i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
