Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
