Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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