If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Found the puke drawer
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
