did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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