idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm drive I can fine osifer
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
