hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
