I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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