Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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