giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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