Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
