He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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