Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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