I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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