theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize