I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
