you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
