My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
