I wannas sexs uuuuu
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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