Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
