As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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