He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I need moral support for this bender
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
