Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
