Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize