Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
