And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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