I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Terrible idea I love it
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize