Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
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