Christians are straight up FREAKS
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
