It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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