It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We are two peas in an std pod
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
