3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
