in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
