Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
So here I am, sexting at work.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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