Christians are straight up FREAKS
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
