I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
