i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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