Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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