Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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