Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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