Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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