Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
