i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
