In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
