Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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