but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
