Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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