so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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